نكت قصيره لكن مضحكه

· ﻣﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺭﺍﺡ ﻳﻮﻛﻞ ﻣﺤﺎﻣﻰ....... ‏ﻟﻘﺎﻩ ﺻﺎﻳﻢ.
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· ﻛﺴﻼ‌ﻥ ﺩﺧﻞ ﺍﻻ‌ﻣﺘﺤﺎﻥ ﻭﻗﻊ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺍﻟﻘﻠﻢ .‏ﺳﻠﻢ ﺍﻟﻮﺭﻗﺔ.
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· ﻣﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻭﺭﺍﻩ ﻭﺍﻟﻲ ﻗﺪﺍﻣﻪ ﻭﺍ ﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﺟﻨﺒﻪ.
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· ﺑﻘﺮﺓ ﺟﺎﻟﻬﺎ ﺟﻔﺎﻑ ﻧﺰﻟﺖ ﻧﻴﺪﻭ .
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· ﻟﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺨﺸﺐ ﻳﺘﻴﻢ؟.......‏ﻷ‌ﻧﻪ ﻣﻘﻄﻮﻉ ﻣﻦ ﺷﺠﺮﺓ.
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· ﻣﺮﺓ 5 ‏ﺩﺧﻠﻮﺍ ﻛﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻬﻨﺪﺳﺔ ﺍﺛﻨﻴﻦ ﻃﻠﻌﻮﺍ ﻣﻬﻨﺪﺳﻴﻦ ﻭﺛﻼ‌ﺛﺔ ﻣﺪﻳﻨﺔ ﻧﺼﺮ.
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· ﻟﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪﻱ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺮ ﺃﺫﻛﻰ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪﻱ ﺍﻟﻜﺒﻴﺮ؟...... ﻷ‌ﻧﺔ ﻣﺎﺑﻘﺎﻟﻮﺵ ﻛﺘﻴﺮ ﺻﻌﻴﺪﻱ
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﻠﺪﻳﺘﻨﺎ ﻛﺒﺮ ﺩﻣﺎﻏﻪ ﻣﻌﺮﻓﺶ ﻳﺨﺮﺟﻬﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻴﺸﺮﺕ.
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· ﻋﺮﺑﻴﺔ ﻛﺤﻴﺎﻧﺔ ﺻﺎﺣﺒﻬﺎ ﺳﺎﺑﻬﺎ ﻗﺪﺍﻡ ﺑﻴﺖ ﻣﻬﺠﻮﺭ...‏ﻟﻴﻪ؟؟ ! ‏ﻋﺎﻭﺯﻫﺎ ﺗﺒﻘﻰ ﻋﺮﺑﻴﺔ ﺷﺒﺢ
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· ﻣﺮﻩ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻋﺪﺍﻩ ﺍﻟﻌﻴﺐ ﺍﺧﺪ ﺍﻟﻲ ﺑﻌﺪﻩ.
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺧﻠﻘﻪ ﺿﺎﻕ ﺍﺩﺍﻩ ﻷ‌ﺧﻮﻩ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺮ.
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· ﺩﺑﺎﻧﺔ ﻭﻗﻌﺖ ﻓﻰ ﺍﺯﺍﺯﺓ ﻭﺳﻜﻰ ﻃﻠﻌﺖ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﻭﻋﻰ ﺍﻟﻨﺴﺮ.
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻣﺸﻐﻮﻝ ﺍﺗﺠﻮﺯ ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﻣﺸﻐﻮﻟﺔ ﺧﻠﻔﻮﺍ ﻭﻟﺪ ﻣﺶ ﻓﺎﺿﻴﻠﻬﻢ.
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· ‏ﻣﺮﺓ ﻣﺪﺭﺱ ﺭﻳﺎﺿﻴﺎﺕ ﺧﻠﻒ ﻭﻟﺪﻳﻦ ﻭ ﺍﺳﺘﻨﺘﺞ ﺍﻟﺘﺎﻟﺖ.
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﺍﺗﺠﻮﺯﺕ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺘﻪ ﻣﻬﺰﻭﺯﺓ . ‏ﺭﻛﺒﺖ ﻟﻪ ﺃﺭﻳﻞ.
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· ﻫﻤﺒﻮﺭﺟﺮ ﻭﺑﻴﺒﺴﻰ ﻭ ﺑﻄﺎﻃﺲ ﺑﻴﺠﺮﻭﺍ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺸﺎﺭﻉ ﺗﻔﺘﻜﺮ ﻟﻴﻪ؟........ ﻋﺸﺎﻥ ﻭﺟﺒﺎﺕ ﺳﺮﻳﻌﺔ
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· ﻣﺮﺓ ﺩﻛﺘﻮﺭ ﺃﺳﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﻋﻮﺩ ﻗﺼﺐ ﻟﻘﺎﻩ ﻣﺴﻮﺱ ﺣﺸﺎﻩ.
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· ﺧﺒﻴﺮ ﺃﺭﺻﺎﺩ ﺟﻮﻳﻪ ... ‏ﺍﺗﺠﻮﺯ ﻭﺧﻠﻒ ﺑﻨﺘﻴﻦ ﺍﻟﻜﺒﺮﻯ 27 ‏ﻭﺍﻟﺼﻐﺮﻯ 13
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺍﻫﺒﻞ ﺟﺰﻣﺘﻪ ﺍﺗﻘﻄﻌﺖ ﺧﻴﻄﻬﺎ ﻭﺑﻌﺪ ﺃﺳﺒﻮﻉ ﻟﻘﺎﻫﺎ ﻛﻮﻳﺴﻪ ﻓﻚ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺎﻃﻪ
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· ﻣﺤﺸﺶ ﻟﻘﻲ ﻛﻨﺰ ﻗﺎﻝ:ﻛﻮﻳﺲ ﻓﺎﺿﻞ ﺍﻟﺨﺮﻳﻄﺔ !!
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· ﻭﻟﺪ ﺑﻴﺴﺄﻝ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ:ﻫﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﻴﺮ ﺑﺘﺘﺠﻮﺯ؟ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ :ﻳﺎ ﺑﻨﻲ ﻣﺒﻴﺘﺠﻮﺯﺵ ﺃﺻﻼ‌ً ﻏﻴﺮ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﻴﺮ
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· ﻣﻴﻦ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺇﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺻﺎﺑﺮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ؟؟؟ ﻣﺤﺸﺶ ﻳﻨﺘﻈﺮ ﺇﻟﻴﺴﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﻨﺎﺓ ﺇﻗﺮﺃ .
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﺳﻮﺩﺓ ﻗﻮﻱ ﺭﻛﺒﻬﺎ ﻋﻔﺮﻳﺖ ﺣﺎﻭﻟﻮﺍ ﻳﻄﻠﻌﻮﻩ ﻗﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﻧﻔﺴﻲ ﺃﻃﻠﻊ ﺑﺲ ﻣﺶ ﺷﺎﻳﻒ
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· ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﺑﺘﻘﻮﻝ ﻟﺠﻮﺯﻫﺎ ﺍﻃﺮﺩ ﺍﻟﺴﻮﺍﻕ ﻛﺎﻥ ﺣﻴﻤﻮﺗﻨﻲ ﻣﺮﺗﻴﻦ ﻓﻲ ﺣﺎﺩﺛﺔ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺧﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﻧﺪﻳﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺛﺎﻟﺜﺔ ..
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· ﺻﻌﻴﺪﻱ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻷ‌ﺑﻮﻩ: ﺭﺧﺼﺔ ﺍﻟﺴﻮﺍﺟﺔ ﺧﻠﺼﺖ ﻳﺎﺑﻮﻱ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ:ﻣﻦ ﻟﻔﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺸﻮﺍﺭﻉ ﻃﻮﻝ ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺎﺭ

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· ﺻﻌﻴﺪﻱ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻷ‌ﺑﻮﻩ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻋﺎﻭﺯ ﻣﻮﺑﺎﻳﻞ ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ ﻣﻮﺍﻓﻖ ﺑﺲ ﺗﺮﻛﺐ ﺃﺧﻮﺍﺗﻚ ﻣﻌﺎﻙ .
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· ﻣﺤﺸﺶ ﺑﻴﺴﺄﻝ ﻣﺤﺸﺶ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﺐ ﺑﻴﻮﻟﺪ ﻭﻻ‌ ﺑﻴﺒﻴﺾ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﺐ ﻣﻜﺎﺭ ﻻ‌ﺯﻡ ﻧﺘﻮﻗﻊ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺃﻱ ﺣﺎﺟﺔ
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· ﻣﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻭﻗﻒ ﺗﺎﻛﺴﻲ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ : ‏ﻓﺎﺿﻲ ﻳﺎﺍﺳﻄﻰ ؟؟؟ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ : ‏ﺃﻳﻮﻩ ﻓﺎﺿﻲ..

ﻗﺎﻟﻪ: ‏ﻃﻴﺐ.. ﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ ﺃﻗﻌﺪ ﻣﻌﺎﻳﺎ ﻋﺎﻟﻘﻬﻮﺓ ﺷﻮﻳﺔ !!
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· ‏ﻣﺮﻩ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺍﺑﻨﻪ ﻃﻠﻊ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷ‌ﻭﺍﺋﻞ ......... ﺷﻔﺮﻭﻩ !

· ‏ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻤﻴﺬ : ‏ﺑﺤﺒﻚ ﻳﺎ ﺃﺑﻠﻪ ﻭ ﻋﺎﻭﺯ ﺃﺗﺠﻮﺯﻙ.... ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺭﺳﻪ: ‏ﺑﺲ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻣﺒﺤﺒﺶ ﺍﻷ‌ﻭﻻ‌ﺩ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺮﻳﻦ‏

ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻤﻴﺬ: ‏ﻭﺃﻧﺎ ﻣﺶ ﻣﺴﺘﻌﺠﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷ‌ﻭﻻ‌ﺩ
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· ﺛﻼ‌ﺛﺔ ﻣﺴﺎﻃﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﻋﺪﻳﻦ ﻓﻲ ﺳﻬﺮﺓ


· ﺍ ﻷ‌ﻭﻝ : ‏ﺃﻧﺎ ﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﻓﻠﻮﺱ ﺃﺷﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻣﺮﻳﻜﺎ ﺍﻟﺸﻤﺎﻟﻴﺔ


· ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ : ‏ﻭﺃﻧﺎ ﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﻓﻠﻮﺱ ﺃﺷﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻴﻬﺎ ﺃﻣﺮﻳﻜﺎ ﺍﻟﺸﻤﺎﻟﻴﺔ ﻭ ﺍﻟﺠﻨﻮﺑﻴﺔ


· ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺚ : ‏ﻭ ﻣﻴﻦ ﻗﺎﻟﻜﻢ ﺇﻧﻲ ﺭﺡ ﺃﺑﻴﻊ


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· ﺻﻌﻴﺪﻱ ﺭﺑﺢ ﻣﻠﻴﻮ ﻥ ﺧﺎﻓﻮﺍ ﻳﺒﻠﻐﻮﻩ ﻳﻤﻮﺕ ﻣﺼﺪﻭﻡ .. ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﺪﻩ ﺃﻧﺎ ﺃﻗﻮﻟﻪ.


ﻗﺎﻝ ﻳﺎ ﻣﺤﻤﺪﻳﻦ ﻟﻮ ﺭﺑﺤﺖ ﻣﻠﻴﻮﻥ ﺣﺘﻌﻤﻞ ﺑﻴﻬﻢ ﺇﻳﻪ؟


ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﺩﻳﻚ ﻧﺼﻬﻢ ...


ﻣﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﺪﺓ